Just when you think the storm has calmed your hit with another. That seems to be the pattern I have been going through. I am okay or I like to think I am. I have to be the strong one, I have to keep that "happy" persona going. If you are wondering what I am talking about I will let you in a little. I once again let my mother move in with me. So that puts me at 4 people (including myself), 4 dogs, and 2 cats. I am going nuts really!!!!! I can’t make them all happy. I get one happy and satisfied and the other isn’t. So I try with that one and the next isn’t happy.
*GGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
I am trying so hard to hold it all together yet I feel I am losing the battle. Maybe in a few weeks everything will settle back down. My only escape is my work, but then I am here thinking about how I can make things better at home. My house sinks and it has never stunk! I know my next electric bill will be higher than ever. Thank god I got long distance taken off my phone or I’d have a real wammy there. I can’t keep food in my cabinets let alone in my fridge. I know it must be God testing me but I feel that he has tested me all my life. Maybe that’s what suppose to happen though. Maybe I am being tested for a worst time then I could visualize. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong. Either way I feel really lost. I might not be writing till every thing settles back down. I shall miss your comments and concerns. Always sending my love.
~tender kisses~
3 comments:
Damnit Aasta,
You know you can always call and talk to Michelle any time, right? If you have long distance blocked, call collect and she can call you back.
Try not to stress to much. I know that sounds way too simplistic, but it's the best I can offer at the moment. Oh wait....I can send you some of my "I don't give a fuck" pills! Heh. They work really damn good. Want some?
You wanna know what's really scary? You remind me of me when I was younger. I have been through a similar situation, over and over again. Did I ever mention that when I was 20, I was taking care of a 13 and 14 year old girls who left their own home, because home for them was a motel alongside a highway?
If you ever need to talk, call collect to the house here and we can call you back, okay?
Best wishes,
Here's another thought for ya to ponder: quit trying to please everyone else. You cannot win on that and it will take all your energy that you need to focus and helthy yourself. You cannot save the world no matter how hard you try. Other than that, maybe set some rules up in your house. After all, it is yours and Aaron's house. If people want to eat, then they cough up some money. No money.....no food. Sounds harsh, but it is not your job to take care of everyone else. Damn, i'm getting fiest in my old age, or maybe its the 105 degrees that we have here. Who knows? Just something for you to think about.
Thanks so much Brandon. Yes I know I can call to talk to you guys. There just isn't much anyone could do right now for me. I know that I can't please them all and it would be a lot different if it wasn't my family, but it is. I am struggling but I know it will all work out. I am so grateful to have friends like Michelle and you that worry about me, I know a have a few here that do the same too. I really hope you all are doing good. I sure need to plan a trip to see you. It would be a great escape and lots of fun. Thank you again. *xoxox*
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