Last night I could have puked, I was so upset. What do I see in my relationship? I see a man that is lazier than my dogs. A man that is addicted to his "medicine". A man that has a closed mind to anything that challenges his views. I take pride in myself for having such an open mind. For wanting to try new things, for wanting to learn something new everyday. He on the other hand would rather be his way or no way. Good things I see ...a man that really does love me, a man that makes me comfortable, a man that knows me better than any other man has. Yet I think to myself he doesn’t really know me, my mind, my soul, my heart. But is that even possible. I have spoken to other couples and some seem to have that. No secrets. But isn’t it health to have some secrets? Is it health not to know everything about a person, so that with time you learn something new? But even so people always change in time. I know I have. There is no way I was the same 6 years ago. *chuckles* The things I see now, the things I want now have changed the way I am as a person. But isn’t that life, something that is always in motion and always changing?
He said to me the other day "What am I going to do about my teeth?" My reply was "Go to the dentist." 20 minutes later ......"What am I going to do about my teeth?" Like my reply would be different. Hell I don’t know a thing about fixing teeth, now come to me with a ticket or Divorce or Will or Power of Attorney, or even a Quit-Clam Deed and I could help. But with teeth that is not something I know. Sad part is my best friend is a dental assistant and she has told him time after time to set an appointment. Has he ...no, he would rather complain to me about how bad it hurts, or stay home with a tooth ache and play X-Box. Another dying subject on my mind. This man I love to death can not even go a full week of work. Always a day off here and a day off there. Now this wouldn’t bother me so much if on his days off he was doing things like ...giving the dogs a bath, laundry, working on his car, working in the yard, helping his mother ...ect. But sitting in front of the TV playing football or racing on the X-Box, a girl starts to get pissed. I am one that never misses a day of work. Even when a few months ago I was sicker than a dog I still went to work. It could be that I love my job and yes that does make a huge difference. But a big part of that is I do not want to disappoint my boss. I take pride in what I do. Pride, a funny little thing. More people in the world need pride.
Who knows what my trip is today. I was just disgusted last night with him. I would think he could have notice that when I went to bed and slept close to my edge of the bed. Oh sure he asked a million times "What’s wrong ....what did you do with my Aasta." I played it off that I was tired and need some rest. In all honestly I needed some TLC.
*Joke for Friday*
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breath out of that small thing....
*LMFAO*
~Friday Night Smooches~
2 comments:
I'm sorry you are going through this Aasta. Aaron being on his "medicine" does not help things much either. Everything you said about him is a by-product of that "medication" and unless he gets off of it, things won't improve much. The good things you see in him appear to be give and take in my eyes. If he loves you, he would do anything possible to help you out, not just sit around and play games while the laundry or cleaning needs to be done. But, that might just be me because I have a hard time sitting around if stuff needs to be done. You say he makes you confortable, but how, if what you are describing doesn't sound all that comfortable????
I don't believe that you should keep secrets from each other. Those only cause problems down the line should they come out. But, do not worry that you'll run out of things to share with each other, because new stuff happens every day which you could share with each other. Know what I mean?
It seems to me he just has a huge problem with lack of motivation and direction in his life. I am not going to guess on the why's of that problem. What does he do for a living? Some jobs are day to day kind of things as far as work. For example, I do construction, so I do sometimes get early days or a day off here and there in the week towards winter time. But, that said, when he does have free time, he should help out around the house so you don't have to do it all.
Your situation reminds me so much of Michelle's with her ex Brian. It is like you are repeating here everything she went through with him, right down to the same "medication" problem.
I understand your frustration, but the worst thing you can do is hold it inside. He should have known something was wrong and it sounds like he did, but guys have a habit of knowing they did something wrong, but cannot figure out which one of the things they screwed up on that day you caught them at.
As far as your joke? It's funny that you should put that on there at this moment in time. I was just asking an elephant that last time I was at the zoo. Heh!
Did you smile? If so, then I achieved my goal.
"Yet I think to myself he doesn’t really know me, my mind, my soul, my heart. But is that even possible."
With the right person, anything is possible sweetheart.
Love you bunches!
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