So he keeps saying how he wants a child. He keeps saying that he only has 3 years left before he will even want to have a child. Yet he can’t go to work 5 days a week. Yet he can’t think for him self and take the trash out when it’s full and don’t just throw shit on top of the pile. *grrrrrrrrrrrrr* Am I selfish for not wanting a child? Sometimes I just want to give in to his wishes and pop one out if that is what it takes. But then how fair is that to me. The one that gets all the hard shit to do, not the one that just gets to "show" it off to family members or whoever he thinks he needs to "show" it off to. It’s like he doesn’t think about the things we need to do 1st before having a child. Things I would have to give up totally: smoking ...all kinds, eating healthier (yuck), parting, etc. Things I would have to do to make sure a child could live in our home safely: baby proof (which would take eons), re-paint all walls since they haven’t been painted since forever, make the spare room into a baby room which would consist of painting, fixing the floors, fixing the old windows, etc. Things I would have to deal with on a daily basis: his and my mother spoiling the child to death plus both fighting over "how we should raise the child" or my favorite, fighting over "who gets to watch it 1st". My mind achs when I really start thinking about it all. So how can he keep pushing me for something that I have never craved?
I’m in the baby blues. I’m tired of hearing that I should have one. I’m tired of people telling me what a "wonderful" mother I would be. I’m sick and tired of people not listing when I say "I DON"T WANT A BABY!". Don’t get me wrong I do love kids. There are a few I get to share n my life and it’s just joyous. Child are the ideal of love. That’s what they are ....right? So why should I not want one, love is me.
I’m in the baby blues. I’m tired of hearing that I should have one. I’m tired of people telling me what a "wonderful" mother I would be. I’m sick and tired of people not listing when I say "I DON"T WANT A BABY!". Don’t get me wrong I do love kids. There are a few I get to share n my life and it’s just joyous. Child are the ideal of love. That’s what they are ....right? So why should I not want one, love is me.
Then it goes back to "what if one of us can’t produce?". Eight years of no protection, wouldn’t you think somewhere we would have made a little mistake? I sure the hell think so. But who am I to say what the future will hold. I’m just aggravated about the whole situation.
~baby blue kisses~
3 comments:
How can I say this without sounding preachy . .
Never have a kid just for the sake of a partner, it ruins partnerships.
Children, I love mine to death, but they do put a strain on a marraige, you are no longer X and Y. You are now X, Y, and Z. Time between X and Y at points becomes non existant.
Only have kids if they are wanted by both parties.
Preach to me!!! *giggles* I couldn't agree with You more Mal. I just wish the other party would see it the same way. I'm working on him! *lol* But thanks for the advice babe! ~smooches~
Even when you WANT kids, it's hard.
If you don't want them, don't have them. PERIOD! Just as Mal said, it will ruin your relationship if you do it for that purpose and not for the purpose of having one.
Aaron needs to understand that unless he intends to give birth, there wont be kids in the future.
(SORRY AARON!!)
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