Boo ...*grins*

I have not forgotten to write here, I swear! I just get preoccupied and then when I think of something great to write about I am no where near the internet. *laffs* Usually the best time I get a great topic in my head is while I am driving, which makes it hard to write it down. Then when I get to my destination I forget the whole thing. *chuckles* I did have a fantasy story to post here, but it seems that my home pc has crashed and I have lost it. *pouts* It was so hot and juicy, I had spent about three months writing it. And now it’s gone, teach me to save things on the hard drive and not a floppy disk. *lol*

*~*~*~*

I am really excited about Thursday night. My office, my boss, is putting on a huge Grant Meeting for small towns and fire departments. I am so shocked that we have now (and it’s only Tuesday) over 100 people coming, without including all our speakers. The last meeting we threw was a Dog Meeting. It wasn’t as big as this one but we did get on the local news. (I was on TV ...damn I’m a rock star!) So hopefully we can get KY 3 to come and report on this meeting too. Best part is I get paid for the day and for the night! ~hot damn~ Plus this meeting will help out so many that attend it. I pride myself for working for such a giving man. He will never be a rich lawyer, but that is by his choice. People mean a lot to him. I was shocked to see in my years of being with him how "giving" he is to his clients. So I highly recommend if you are ever in my neck of the woods and get a traffic ticket, need a will, or just some good old legal advise, please look him up. He is the best!

~*~*~*~

Another night this week I am excited about is Friday night. I am taking my sweet soul sister to pick up her boy-toy. She is glowing with happiness. Just to see her smile makes my heart melt. She so deserves the best this world can offer. I truly hopes she finds that and more! I love you Crys, even though we miss each other a lot, you know your always in my thoughts. And shit man ....when you cooking me dinner? *grins*

*~*~*~*

Then there is Saturday night. Two parties to go to, and in two different areas. The first one is a friends place. She sooo wants me to go, as so Crys because her and this "boy-toy" (no names or she’d kill me) are going. The best idea I have came up with to attend this one is if I go for about 30 minutes tops. I know once I get there they won’t let me leave so it’s a battle ...do I ...or don’t I. The second party is with my boys, Black Buffalo. They are playing at Donna’s and she is also having a costume party. I really love ...LOVE this little hole in the wall bar. I feel alive when I am there. Plus I can’t pass up rocking out. I don’t think I can win the costume contest, I’m going as a Vampiress. It’s sweet but not as good as I could have been. I have been an evil pixe for 2, maybe 3 years now, so I had to change it up a little this year. I love my teeth though, one has this gold cross on it, so sexy. I shall post pictures for all to see. Torn between the two parties I guess until I have (HAVE) to make a choice.

~*~*~*~

My "Light" has returned to me. *smiles so sweetly* He blessed me with so much before, I do not think He knows. Just to hear His voice makes me smile and "shiver" all over. I know it is wrong to feel those little feelings, but gosh feeling so good and knowing it’s so bad is one of the best things ever. I thank Him for sharing Himself with me once again.

*~*~*~*

Another friend has came to me again. Chris, or as most that know him LSG Sir. This man I feel for fast, he knows all the right things to say and when to say them. I think a little part of my heart got broke before by him. Which is silly for me to say because I have never met him, never felt his presence. I had talked to him many of times on the phone, which was god ...unbelievable. The connection I, We thought we had was incredible. Even with him being younger than me I was in shock. I have this card he sent me, the cutest elephant card because he knew I loved them. The smell of him still lingers on it, and I catch myself pulling it out of my desk and smelling it. What we had ended quickly. Mostly to his own doing, but yet still my doing too. Now he wants it all back, or a fresh start. Can I do it all over again? I have to ask myself. Can I risk everything again? All these and more linger in my head and heart.

~*~*~*~

But then here I am ...not single. I think I have came to some kinda conclusion about what Aaron’s problem is. He is depressed. Be it money or his work, or even someone saying something about him. He is so anti-social, hates to do anything that involves a crowd or even just a few people. It’s like he is afraid of someone judging him for his actions. These and many more play the role in our relationship. It’s tearing me up inside. For example, last Saturday was my co-workers "Halloween horse show ", her daughter borrowed Aaron’s metal mask he made and was this demon on a three headed dragon (the horse with two extra heads). Anyways Cindy really wanted and so did the girls for Aaron to see them all decked out. I thought no problem, he’ll want to see it too. Come that day this is what I get. ..."I don’t want to go", "You can’t make me go", "I don’t like crowds", "I don’t feel well, maybe you should go by yourself", and on and on. Well I made him go. MADE him. Now isn’t that sad. I shouldn't have to make anyone do anything with me, they either do it or not. So we get there and he looks like he is enjoying it ...(looks) not even 20 minutes of being there he was all like "Okay I am ready to go." Cindy was all like "but Aaron you haven’t got to see them do barrels." She gets pulled away and what does he say to me ..."Why did you have her give me the guilt trip." WTF? I didn’t say oh Cindy lay into him about staying. I was so pissed he was acting like a child. Pouting because he didn’t want to be there. Well I wasn’t going to let him get me down, I rode my little pony "Stormy". (LMAO) Oh my god, you should have seen how damn cute I was riding a pony ....a pony I said! So I ask him to get a picture of it for it’s been like 6 years since I been on a horse let alone a pony. What does he do ...take a picture of my face ...that’s it. I was like "Aaron why didn’t you get me on the pony?" His response, "You were too close." Like he couldn’t have stepped back a few feet ???????? Oh I was so furious, so I took him home and missed the rest of the show. Then when we get home what does he want, but a good fuck. WTF???? Another part of his depression is his work. Find another job dude, what more do you what me to say. Your not happy, get happy, your not pleased with what you do, change it. In a world like this these days anything is possible, but you have to take some kinda of action to get it in the process. Who knows if things will ever change for him. He won’t seek a Dr’s help, hell he won’t seek anyone’s help. So many of my friends say "leave him, you deserve so much better." But things aren’t that simple, or maybe I just don’t want them to be. I’ll keep you updated.

*~*~*~*~*

I better get my ass to work. Bossman is here and wants me to "come back". (lol) Chilly days like these make me want to stay in bed. I want some snow quick like too!

~wicked frozen smooches~