A New Computer to Come ....

*YAY* I’m getting a new computer this weekend. I’m so excited. Still not sure which model I’ll go with but I know it will be so much of an upgrade from the piece of shit I have had for years now. Oh and then I get to learn Vista! *wooohoo* There is so much that will help me with a new computer. It’s unreal that the one I have is still 98 Windows. Talk about ancient, right? *laffs* But that will all change after the weekend. I won’t know what to do with myself.

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So Aaron got a pick-up truck from his brother. It’s has to be the nicest vehicle Aaron has ever owned. (He’s had the Nova for eons.) He was so happy last weekend because he got his tax return and got it all legal and in his name. It’s amazing to see that look in his eyes when he’s happy or satisfied. Monday I got off work and he made me drive around back roads in his “legal” truck. It was hilarious, but I enjoyed our road trip into the country side. So now since he has this he has been going to work everyday. *smiles* I know his knee is killing him but he is going and not staying at home. Which is very nice because once again I can start saving for my trip to CA. *smiles even more*

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The other day I posted that my friends Crystal and Donald are getting married. What I didn’t post about was my feelings on this. It’s so hard for me to open up knowing that they come and read this once in a while. I don’t like how I feel. I don’t think it’s right. I’m fighting with it daily and yesterday was even harder. Donald came in with the kids, which was so nice. Come to find out Crystal ran next door to the store. I just thought cool she’ll stop in when she comes out since the kids and Donald are here. Well that didn’t happen. Donald said he was going to get something from Crystal, and I assumed she would follow. Nope. Didn’t even pop her head in. Stayed out in the car. So after I was done with him, he left. I felt so “unwanted”, so “unneeded”, so very much “unloved”. I know it’s silly. So I call her to ask her why she didn’t come in. She goes off that Donald was suppose to tell me they were in a hurry and running late. Okay well I understand that but why not even pop in and say hello for 5 seconds. Am I not worth that? So of course again my feelings are hurt. But that’s nothing new when it comes to her and my relationship. Ever since that day long ago things will and have never been the same. I just need to accept this and I thought I had. I don’t know maybe I’m jealous that it’s her that’s getting married in Vegas and not me. I mean that was my idea ...or was it? Don’t get me wrong I am extremely happy for them and I wish them nothing but the best. It’s my feelings that are driving me fucking batty. I guess it would have been nice to hear the news in person or even on the phone, but I suppose MySpace has taken over that. I just need to deal with myself and my
life, right?

Crystal or Donald, I do wish you much happiness, please don’t take my post as negativity towards your relationship. I know you both are perfect for each other. This is my place to heal and that’s what I do here. *smiles*

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Weather has been pretty pleasant lately. That wicked storm came through here and the fucking tornado sirens went off for hours. Thankfully no tornado hit us and my heart goes out to the family that lost their little girl. It’s that season again, for tornados. I hope they don’t take many lives this year.

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Saturday night is Black Buffalo’s official CD Release party. *good job guys* I get to work the door. *wooohoo* They are playing on coming in all “rock starish”. *laffs* Aaron’s going to set up our living room with beer and shit so they can hang there till the time comes. (Our home is about 4 blocks away from where they are playing.) I wanted to be with them there and I might still get to. I should have help they said. We’ll see. *lol* They all have grown so much over the years and I am very proud of each of them.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!

~wicked smooches and loving hugs~